Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
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so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
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Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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