Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize