To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
