You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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