at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
