Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
try to milk me bitch
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