well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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