I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
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is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
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Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.