hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"