She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.