Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.