Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize