I feel like abortions should bother me more
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize