I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
