I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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