Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
