wanna go halves on a baby?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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