She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
