so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
