If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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