check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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