Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
