What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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