turn off your phone and go to bed
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?