I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.