some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch