i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
