I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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