Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
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video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
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bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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