so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize