can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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