i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
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Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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