That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.