I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
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It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
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Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.