dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.