On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize