So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
