i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
