HIV tests are more positive than that guy
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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