peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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