u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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