Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
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She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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