I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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