somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
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i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
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my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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