my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
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i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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