you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize