He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
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So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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