So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
