Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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