Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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