they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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