I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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