I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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