People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
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I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
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I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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