So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.