Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.