jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
