"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
we made out on top of his cat.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
