i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize