2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize